Fashion & Gossip - Fashion News from China and Japan

Universal old skool park. The original and the mighty.

This one takes some planning. Universal Studios is a large and amazing theme park, you have to juggle a number of things. SHOW times are very important, check your map for the times. You want to plan your attack to see EVERYTHING. Also you must understand the LONG LINE RIDES. There's a lot of headliners all over the park. LONG LINES ARE NOT FOR MISS LUSH.
Heres the plan of attack, read and take notes.

E.T is a classic and must be done, but do not be tempted to do it first just because it is there, terminator doesnt open til 10 so you have to come back that way anyways, go straight to the new SIMPSONS ride, it gets a big line quickly. Do this and do MEN IN BLACK first,
TIPS: on E.T NEVER give your real name, make up a dumb name, its hillarious to hear E>T say "goodbye miss divine lush one, goodbye bexstar, goodbye dopey" etc. In MEN IN BLACK dont shoot the obvious aliens, shoot the smaller ones, and shoot the green traffic lights, thats how you get a high score, and GET THE SUIT, you need an average of 200,000 per car so dont sit with anyone who looks dumb!

Now you are in time to see BLUES BROTHERS show at 11.30, they are amazing! SEE IT! Aretha Franklin was just awesome, and they arrive in the car...love it. THEY ARE ON A MISSION FROM GOD

We then like to stop for a cheeky midday cocktail at the Irish pub since it gets very hot and sweaty watching and dancing yourself silly with the brothers in the hot sunshine! So a quick refresher is needed, check out this pub, how funny is this irish menu? SCOTCH EGG cobb salad?!

THEN watch beetlejuice show at 12.30 (see how well it times out!) Then go BACK and do JAWS, (be aware...i think the driver might have engine failure...and drive to the old boat shed....duh da...duh da...duh da duh da...you know the rest)
THEN do the FASTPASS for the MUMMY, do TWISTER, grab lunch in the MONSTERS PLACE or in ITALY where they have pizza and STARBUCKS! then make yourself feel very sick as your fastpass return is up for the mumy ride whch is HELLA scary!!
then back to do T2 ride (sit in the front section) and E.T and your DONE! Phew! WELL DONE

heres E.T to say BYEEEEEEEEEEE! after this you need a good dinner, I reccomend PONDEROSA which is an amazing buffet. I shall tell more about that later....love and lushness to you all.

HARD ROCK HOTEL ORLANDO-Lush line jumping and living

To queue is not lush.
To pay for 5pm cocktails (until 7.30) is not lush

Skipping all the lines at Universal studios and Islands of Adventure theme parks Florida is very very lush. Free wine beer soft drinks and CD library with 'beck and call smiley' concierge staff and lovely snack buffet, thats lavishly lush.

This is the very aerosmith concierge level of the HARD ROCK HOTEL orlando. This hotel is the only way to stay at Universal studios. You dont have to wait in line. You simply show your room key at rides and go staright to the front of the line. Apart from that theres loads of other perks.

The room is lovely, lush enough for 3 Scarrott ladies, I dont mind sleeping in the same bed as my sister, she only mumbles a bit in her sleep...mum however snores like a trooper, but then Im coughing up a lung every night so we are as bad as each other!

The transportation is awesome. River busses take you to each park, dining area, nightclub and bar all day every day for free, they are prompt and fun, and I love arriving to look at the amazing parks twinkling lights over your own private water way!


And the final lush lifestyle activity is watersliding and hot tubs in the dark with cocktails!! Hard rock understands a girls need for an apple martini and some hot bubbly water after a hard days enjoying yourself and doing rollercoaters! Honestly, the things I do to write an entertaining blog...So thankfully the HARDROCK HOTEL has cocktail waitresses tending to the hot tub till midnight every night, and the food is also amazing, have the hot dog, its perfect for stopping the hangover before it starts! AND DO THE WATER SLIDE. DO IT. NO ITS NOT CHILDISH....ok it is, but Lush likeeee! WHEEEEE!

The prep, for the rock of your life. JoJo Lushes guide to getting into the zone for a gig in Shanghai

There are many disadvantages to rocking in Shanghai, crappy equipment, horrible weather, restrained crowds, terrible pay... but also many advantages, drunken expat groupies, forgiving audiences and excellent prep facilities, such as open bars, open mic nights, and open 24 hour beauty parlors for glam rock girls like myself.aptain Slowhand, whom I dedicate every gig to.

(captain) a real rock and roller, lived fast died young, in a bathtub.....


Then I have an opportunity to do the whole "1, 2...1, 2..." hing whilst the boys do all the clever electrical bits. I dont sing much before a gig, one because my voice doesnt run marathons, its more of a sprinter, or since we have 2 singers, a relay race! Also because the songs seem to sound better if you havent done them to death.

This is how the boys do their clever stuff, it involves lots of electrical toys and swearing in Swedeish, which must be lots of fun for them.

This is also when I get to do my makeup, see above for inspiration.

THE BREAK

after this we have a break, since customers will come at 8 ish and we dont play till 10, this is when I like to go to the hair salon, I use the AMAZING one on xikang lu by Xinzha lu next to KFC. They dont speak english but its 100rmb for the top designer to do your hair and hes awesome.

THE BALANCE

WATER vs WHISKY
Lubrication vocally and mentally is a tricky one.
WATER= you will remember your lines, your voice will be better, you wont fall over, you wont be dehydrated.
WHISKY=you will rock out more

currently my voice hasnt been great so im staying off the source which has made gigs 1,000,000 times more nerve racking. I never got nerves, but now Im concentrating on my sobriety so much Ive convinced myself Im going to suck on stage....maybe I should just get back on the wagon!

But my top tip is malibu and pineapple, not strong, not dehydrating, and pineapple juice is great for the voice. Mix it with calpol and Halls menthols, you'll be wheeling!

Rock on folks.
waer

Shanghai bikini season, top tips guys and gals...

Of course the best way to ensure a bikini quality body is hard work excersize and a controlled diet with low sugar and fat and alcohol intake...but screw that frankly, Shanghai is awesomely full of cheats!!
1. cucumber. I was told by every Chinese friend I have out her that cucumber every day keeps the pounds off, thankfully I also ADORE 'huangua' with garic and vinegar...though mints after are a must!

technically it is excersize and the Chinese swear it will keep you lithe...and by looking at them I believe them! But it certainly doesnt break a sweat does it? Its is essentially directing imaginary traffic with flags or hands or if you are totally cool SWORDS. But honestly? I dont think its gonna allow 2 big macs without the bulge showing...still the Chinese keep in good shape, maybe Im just not doing it right.

And so many of my friends swear by this. I tried slimming tea...fine to taste, not so hard to drink but so so so hard to manage finding a toilet. Essentially this is simply a dieretic which makes you wee away your waist...but one cappuccino later the whole lot is back on right? not so apprently, my friends tell me research proves it increases metabolism and reduces carb intake over time. Yeah true but with the lack of fine smelling public resting places in my home town Id rather be a bit pudgy.
this one I could get used to, no effort but AMAZINGLY it works! I recommend the Apsara Spa on Shanxi Lu Jingan temple slimming massage followed by body wrap....slimming massage is cheap, slightly uncomfortle but the skinny jeans certainly fit a little looser after!

Or simply invest in the amazingly affordable plastic surgery out here? Either way stay gorgeous Shanghai x

Well its the last day of the month, probably like me expats like me are wondering how to spend your last hundred kuai in a stormy shanghai

And fear not! Tuesday is simply the best day to be broke and bored in Shanghai, heres why:

1. FOOD: Its gourmet month in Shanghai so check out these following website for all that fancy dining you cant justify splurging out on! Indluge your western food cravings NOW as it will cost you double next month. YOU HAVE TO TRY LAWRYS I know 350 sounds a lot (less than 35 usd but we are stingy in this town) but it is amazing.

www.cityweekend.com

for all the latest meal deals, or amazing lunch deals at Pasti or Syndney for under 50rmb

My personal choice is new york pizza on beijing xi lu by xikang lu. A slice of pizze is 1rmb, crispy base, loaded with any toppings, and a lunch deal is 2 slices and a drink for 20rmb, 2 slices a drink and an appetizer for 25rmb, two bucks 50 for a full meal! NICE so think about it, you've got 100 rmb, take out 4 friends and treat them to a lunch! they will all owe you one in return,,,four lunches...hmmmmm

TAG UP SOME STUFF
Although highly illegal, graffiti is fun, and spray cans are only 12rmb at MAGGIE'S ART SHOP which is 850 Xikang lu in Jingan temple, spend 100rmb on 9 cans and make them mad colors, let your punk out, the fumes are very dangerous though and will make you feel like you are on another planet, so you can choose to wear a mask...or not.

GET DRUNK
theres no shortages of places to get drunk in Shanghai on Tuesday, heres some low downs

1. I LOVE SHANGHAI
ladies drink free
2. BEEDEES
free music acts, open mic, buy one get one free beer
3. Longitude,
GORGEOUS bar, live music, nice patio, free cocktails
4. BULLDOG
ladies drink free, food served cheap till 3am

you cant go wrong with any of these!

Tuesday isnt so bad see?
And if all else fails

as you can see this place is EVEN BETTER THAN MOVIE WORLD!!! (the famous dvd shop on Dagu Lu, untill this competitor showed up) go to beedees opposit, watch me and flawless al, and pat slap attack, lars from mars, and yoshi the kid rock some veins out, spend 30RMB on 2 beers, then hit DA PAPPA MARIOS amazing pizza and buy a 50rmb authentic huge pie, you got cash for 2 movies, should see you right through till pay day!
enjoy the last day of being broke fellow artisans!

Thriller!!!! Hit the shanghai dancefloor with pride!!

Shanghai is not the most prgressive place for musically advanced nightlife. Sure now the emerging Chinese rock scene is making headlines and theres clubs paying wads to import western DJ's who all seem to be number 3 in the world at some point, or number 1...how many number 1's can there be!? and clubs like logo, shelter, dream fty are actually doing some nights i find very cool. But lets face it, we arent in Williamsburg.
Adapt to survive I say. When life gives you lemons, MAKE LEMONADE. when Shanghai gives you 80's revivial, learn thriller perfectly!
Imagine. It comes on. The drunk people scream, the neon is flashing on the walls of the crusty nightclub where the 'free %^&$ for ^%$£* all night" offer has obviously convinced us credit crunch conscious consumers to compromise our usual standards. People begin to flail and flounder around to the music.
And then you take centre stage. It works EVEN BETTER if you can get a group of people. You dont need to do much, but this will KILL people.
1. you do 4 walks forward 4 walks back
BUT you have to walk like a zombie. IE hang your arms like an ape and look demented. ALSO use the SAME LEG AS ARM when you walk forward. RIGHT LEG FORWARD RIGHT ARM FORWARD. Stoop over and do it all like you were plastered drunk, with a narly face.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVvnBiBYcvY

this explains it all.

2. Double speed you do 8 walks forward and 8 back to each 'bar' of music (check me out. But you have to hit your ear with your shoulder by shrugging one shoulder high up, like youve just got a flea in your ear or your annoying uncle is trying to tickle you. Hit your ear on counts 1 and 5 and 7. so you walk for 8 and the ear to shoulder happens on 1, 5 and 7 got it.

3. you do this awesome step she calls booty bounce! Tunred to one side, arms out one infront of you at right angles like your punching someone one behind like your double punching the dude behind you, and you bounce twice with your legs apart, twice with them together, twice apart and twice together, To get your legs spread take steps forward, and together with the back leg.

4. SWIM with CLAW

You make a forward step with your hands like a CLAW and you do like breast stroke, open them up and scoop forward, 2 each side

5. MJ STANCE as shown in photo, hit the pose!! Throw head back then forward, turn around to the other side, and repeat.

6. THRUST. Grab crotch with back hand, front arm put out behind you and forcefully thrust your pelvis forward.

THIS WILL KILL THE CLUB
I will one day get my act together and video such shinanigans

until then try it for yourself! THRILLAH!!!!

The happiest place on earth..except that other "happiest place on earth" that is not in Hong Kong...

I LOVE them for trying. And honestly it was pretty darn close, but as they say, no cogar going to Hong Kong Disney.
I had an unbelievable day, it really was magical, the whole experience was perfectly enjoyable. But theres just something so completely NON Chinese about Disney.
With another park planning to be opened in Shanghai next year, Im just going to have to put that out there. Paris didnt do it, Hong Kong didn't do it, I havent been to Tokyo but I can imagin its about the same. YOU HAVE TO BE AMERICAN TO BE DISNEY. Sorry but thats just that. "have a magical day" just doesn't work in another language!
My first memories are of Walt Disney World Florida. I was an addict at 5. From the moment you arrive at Orlando airport the MAGIC is tempting you. The sweet smell of Oranges in the air, the ridiculously tanned white teethed smiles, the slick and easy movement of Florida life, and that sunshine. That ever present, ever glorious, ever warm and lulling sunshine which covers everything in a beautiful honey glaze.
You arrive at a beautiful hotel, service is spotless, everyone is so happy. Are you dead and in heaven? The music, the smell, the lighting the smiling, the giddy and glamorous people, the fairytale buildings, the amazing films coming to life before your eyes.
A monorail ushers you with ease to a gate where inside all your dreams come true. Disney characters are real!! The world is warm and happy! Thrilling rollercoasters! Sugared and fat laden treats! Endless buffets! Yes you can have jelly, fish pie, and burgers on the same plate for breakfast! Parades with sequins and fireworks! Villains and ghosts! But the heroes always win and get the girl! And then we have A SONG! HURRAH!
Yes my friends, I made a vow I would LIVE in Disney. I was such a junkie for that hit, I itched all year for the next holiday. When it came I couldn't get enough, I wouldn't sleep, I just wanted to go on "its a small world" again, and again and again.
Sadly now, my disease is so advanced only the best tonic will do.
Hong Kong Disney was a great day out. But if Florida is a big juicy T-Bone Hong Kong is a flimsy burger.

I mean this guy was a star...but hes never gonna convince kids hes Johnny Depp

href="http://wfn.typepad.com/.a/6a0105364cdc73970c0112793a42bb28a4-pi">

But the parade was awesome.
My verdict, go enjoy the rides, they are fun, enjoy the parade, and have a wicked day. Just dont go expecting the real stuff. That only exists in the sunshine state.

Chinese Baywatch

This baffles me. The Chinese are the most remarkable swimsuit wearers. The multitude of crimes against beach fashion had westerners gawking and talking on Hainan island this Chinese New Year. Sanya is the sexiest destination for the Chinese elite over the holiday. Its got the 5* hotels, sunshine, sand,  sexy beauty competitions like Miss World...and the LEAST sexy speedo's and 'swim sacks' I've ever seen. Had Pamela Anderson been bounching along to rescue some drowning hunk, whilst wearing a baggy garish hawaiian baby-grow, I think the victim might have chosen drowning. What is more upsetting is the tight bright trunks on the skinniest men. It reminds me of third grade when we first started mixed swimming class. Even the buffest beefcake finds it hard to match cold water and tight lycra. I just don't get it, why not save us all the squirming and go for some nice board shorts?

Then again I'm sure when the chinese see the bright red beer bellies of Brits hitting the beach, sweating beneath knot tied snot rags on their heads, they find us rather amusing too. So, I guess whatever your fancy, get it out, shake it all about and swim whilst the sun is shining. Not all of us are David Hasslehoff (praise the lord for small mercies!)